hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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