Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I deserve this hangover.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
