I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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