i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
this just has baby written all over it
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
