just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
