I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
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Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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