another moral hangover. fuck.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
His nipple licking is glorious
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