Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize