I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So vagazzling was a success
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
