My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
