She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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