i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
