I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
