Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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