His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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