I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I wish i was in the wii world.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
