I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
