she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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