ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
