I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
