Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
