He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
