Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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