This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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