I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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