Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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