Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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