Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
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