I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
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Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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