i just google imaged poop.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
