Barsexuality is the new black.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
