We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
