Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
