I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize