Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My liver is preforming stress tests.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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