Pappa wants mamma naked
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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