what day is it and did you see me today?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
