Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
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despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
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I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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