Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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