One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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