How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
