Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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