Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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