I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
