i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
