I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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