She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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