is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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