Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
