Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
When are your genitals available?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
