Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
