you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
