My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize