I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
