Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Damn victory sex feels great
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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