Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize