he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
