i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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