Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
